Happy Birthday! I don\'t know what has come over me to write to you as I barely write these days. Have you been secretly trying to call out to me? It was me earlier returning the hi. I didn\'t want it to be obviously known it was me as I wasn\'t intending on pursuing further contact beyond the hi. Just a stranger saying hi...that was all.

So truthfully, ever since my last message more than a decade ago, I haven\'t thought about you much. I haven\'t completely forgotten you, just haven\'t thought about you. That whole period with you was the most turbulent time of my life. Definitely a period where I was still trying to find myself even if I knew a good chunk of it already. Definitely a period where I was emotionally unhealthy while we satisfy our everyday cravings for attention (Don\'t you dare deny I was scratching your itch too). Yes, I was obsessed over you. Yes, I felt the emotional highs and lows of a relationship over you. There was at one point where I was so emotionally attached and hurt that I had to sit my car for hours while waiting for my next class and dwell on it so hard that the feeling just magically went away in which much later learned that was a way of neutralizing my negative emotions. Yes, I let you have influence over me. Yes, I only played maplestory (and the last time I touched the MMORPG genre) just so I can be \"around\" you more when I found it mindless once it became longer to level up. Yes, I waited until the boiling point to cut you off when probably it should ended sooner.

Years after you, I killed contact with everybody as I also realize no one else made the effort to contact me either. Eventually killed OKC because of their tinder like changes and I don\'t bother to maintain any kind of online presence or socialize. I\'m still alone and since the pandemic, I\'ve grown to be ok with it to the point where I don\'t feel the need to maintain contacts with anybody. Not sure if the pandemic, age, hormonal changes or complete diet change or all the above that affected me in this way. The way that everything played out was better for me in the end as I may not be where I am at today in regards to my growth in knowledge.

The \"growth in knowledge\" was finally and slowly study the Billy Meier contact reports and it spoke to me more than anybody else ever did and probably has the most positive impact out of everything as well. I could of swore the last bits of conversations I was having with you, I linked you to it...and if I recall correctly, you blew it off, just like \"dad\"/dylan did when I would try to bring it up. I don\'t know if you ever went back to it, but if you still haven\'t, I suggest you do. Out of everybody that I know, I would like to believe you would be able to follow/understand it...at least in the way that I remembered you. I\'ve been recently wrong with a coworker who I thought was cool, but recently showed me their other side and changed my perception of them. Anyways, because of the contact reports, I know so many things and at the same time cannot prove it until the world discovers it. He confirms my suspicion that all these societial rules and expectations are nothing and that universal laws that affects all space and time and harmony are the only true rules. I\'ve learned about the life and death cycle/system without any nonsense belief/religions, our personal mission to not only discover reality and it\'s truth but to grow in self evolution, how overpopulation is the biggest problem facing humanity that affects everything including the planet, how all religions and other beliefs need to die in order for true peace to rise (imo, religions and materialism/hoardism should be considered a mental disease), the Corona virus and the vaccines, the incoming world nuclear war and the potential fall of the U.S., confirms my suspicion that pet ownership is a health hazard and made me realize that a true extraterrestrial spaceship/beamship is not only superior in technology and knowledge but shows how far behind in multiple ways humanity is to understand anything. With the way the world is full of lies, arrogance, greed, corruption, unhealthiness, egoism, misdirection and suppression...it should be no surprise we\'re so far off the path of true peace. There\'s so much more I could go on about.

Maybe another way to illustrate my changes, I\'ll go back through your site and re-answer some things. I don\'t know how much you\'ve changed since then if at all, so we can consider this as something like a time capsule response...the me now vs you then. Maybe I\'m opening old wounds? Anyways, upon re-reading your dead site and glancing over other blog notes I ended up saving (which I never re-read), I am reminded why I fell for you in the first place as the first and only girl thus far to come close to me mentally. However, the problem was/is(?): your thirst for revenge which includes the warn button wars, your arrogance and some unethical stances.

Revenge - This bothered me then and

Just returning your \"Hi!\" ... years later which I only decided to check on a whim.

LoopyEngineering

25/M/L

forgot

Cowboy Bebop

conglomeration

Do you agree or disagree w/ most of your ideas?

AIM me

MaurogDark

29/M/Internet

Stalking Janis. Ok, not really, the link is all over her profiles.

Kino no Tabi - The Beautiful World

Brain from Pinky and the Brain. Alternatively, Conni, because she's one layer deeper than the rest. You can lose any of those and remain yourself. Not so with Conni...

If you really have to know, I'm closer to Jenna than any of the others.

I am a wandering knight, a computer geek, and a lone wolf

I agree with most of them. In a fake and superficial world, these opinions stand as a bastion of sanity and reason. A few are missing the target, primarily because of lack of knowledge in a specific area or projecting yourself onto the world. Most are spot on, though. You just need to keep in mind that while non-conformity allows you to look outside the box and see the flaws in the system invisible to the common zombie, you shouldn't look at this only from one point. Imagining yourself in place of people to see the system from the inside as well may improve your opinions and make them more objective.

No wonder people get so worked up about this, you're pulling off the safety blanket and exposing them to the cold truth of their own reality. Don't worry though, all they have to oppose you are emotions.

read your coment on joan baez video on youtube... :)

trying not to be

hevent read any...

hello from croatia :)

Hiii! n_n I just wanted to leave another comment because I'm always checking your beautiful site. Take care.

19/F

Friend

I don't like anime.

Mine. Since it's in my head.

The kind the brain in my head is.

Eh.

Doing just the opposite is also a form of conformity. You know that?

Good luck in your quest to be totally different from everyone. You'll need it.

monkeyed7

wouldn't you like to know

The Kiddy Pool

wtf??

The pretty one!

The kind that likes change, knows the difference between modesty and humility, supports organ transplants and has a religion.

Oh god... if it isn't glaring obvious already, I disagree. Honestly, where'd you come up with some of this? Your lack of regard for life is astounding... I've never seen someone who can willingly say that they want humanity to end. You do understand that, while you may not consider yourself to be human, you are in fact... a human. Which means, if the human race ends, you'll be gone too! And- do you possess a dictionary? Modesty has nothing to do with lying; it's decency of behavior and dress. I think you meant humility which means freedom from arrogance, pride, etc (even though you're not humble either... you brag about your superiority too much).

I didn't start reading these 'essays' thinking you were a naive and immature person. After reading them, I feel that you are not only naive and immature, but that you have no concept of how the world works, especially if you're in college. The world and society don't care if you want to 'conform' or not. They don't care if you want to ***** about how much you hate people. You're not a speshul snowflake or the best in the world/cosmos. You're just an average person who thinks that they are great and wonderful.

Feel free to email me and try to defend your ideas... it'll be interesting.

Forum

Ahahahahaha.

http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=633446

Read and enjoy. We love you!

http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=633446

no

no

RAGE thread

Boku no battle toads

Penis

Harbl

I find this question ironic considering the emphasis you place on individuality.

You're full of ****, a nasty little retard lashing out at the world because you fail at life. I can't believe someone in college still thinks this way, most people get over this kind of retarded angst by the age of 14 but I guess there's no helping those with ass burgers. You're a cretin of the highest order.

Fag.

What is this? AOL?

**** your stereotypes

I'll go with disagree with most since that is the only other option.

You really know how to induce rage, I give you a 10/10 for making me post this and come back to read your drivel. It really sounds like you have been butt hurt for having some ****ty friends. You make assumptions based on a few experiences. Seriously grow up. People don't look down on you because you are different. They look down on you because you are like all the other stupid nonconformist ****s that arise out of the bowels of the internet. Everything you say points to the fact that you are most likely white, middle class, and an anime fangirl. This is exactly why I HATE interacting with people who like anime. People like YOU pop up just because they seen a few eps of Lain and Eva. Conformity isn't BAD asshat, its necessary for human SURVIVAL. Stop typing **** on the internet, everyone is doing it. You don't want to conform do you? YOU are still human believe or not, You can deny your humanity all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that YOU ARE EXACTLY WHAT YOU HATE. WTF are you taking in college that is teaching you this bull****? Oh right, your Indigo child status makes you like this.
But really this made me feel good. Take it at face value if you want, I just wanted to vent a bit. Hope it makes you feel good, at least it made someone read your ****, Have a good night

I do disagree with most of them.
You take a singular, close-minded view on mundane issues, such as contact wearing. I wear contacts, and not because I don't want to be called a nerd, but because I prefer to have my entire range of vision as sharp rather than just two sectors. And I'd be paranoid that they'd break. Basically, you define everyone under a certain group, e.g. contact-wearers, negatively. And that's close-minded.
Essentially, they are muddled, confused, and many contradict each other. I'll go over just a few.
I mean,
DATING is for people who aren't FRIENDS BEFORE LOVERS.
and then
FRIENDS are for people who can't make it ALONE.
What? What are you trying to say here?
And you are against both
Protesting War
Protecting Your Country
Which doesn't really make that much sense.
And CELL PHONES are for people who can't WAIT.
Why would you want to wait, anyway?
And TECHNOLOGY is for people who can't SURVIVE.
I mean, what are you suggesting? That we abandon everything? Computers? Cars? Lightbulbs? Houses? Clothing? All this is technology. Should we just be naked in the wolves? Where would that leave us?

And here is my favorite, I think
MODERN ART is for people who don't appreciate QUALITY.
Whenever someone argues this way about contemporary art, its almost always out of ignorance. Firstly, it started in the mid 1800s, against your 20th century "Catholic" and backwards idea. But modern art was more about expressing ideas rather than showing off talent, and you fail to understand that. And you thrust it into the category of America. Well, so much is wrong there.
Abstract art was a movement spanning the entire world, not just America. And the implication that interest in previous forms of art, "talented" art, is untrue as well, as it's not as if everyone just decided it was bad in favor of the new form. Modern art was about redefining what art was, evidenced by the "readymades" of Duchamp. He claimed that they went beyond just the visual, the retinal.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Readymades_of_Marcel_Duchamp
And then you claim it was made with computers. My God. Well, I can tell you it wasn't, but that's not the point; it still does take talent, if only to use the computer, regardless. Also, people still do paint without them, clearly. While I appreciate "Catholic" art, and modern art, I think you don't really know anything about either. Not that I'm an expert, but I can tell I know more than you.

And music.
You don't like contemporary music, and I can't tell why because the link 503s. But you think it takes no talent? I guess.
Well, is this bad or talentless?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnqpOFcBiMM
Or this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqZmtq5LhFo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocfR3CIPFJo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xTG6JzMW5I
And what about jazz? Is that bad too?
Covers:
There are times when a cover totally revolutionizes a song, and example being Blinded by the Light by Springsteen, covered by Manfred Mann's Earth Band.
Original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN6zFN8cAPs&feature=PlayList&p=3FC72766C5D3A148&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=1
Cover:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMiV5Ls_LVU (Only good version on Youtube)
Both are brilliant, and I think there was absolutely NO lazyness in the composition of the latter.
And concerts: have you ever even been to one?

Though I'm with you on the Cursive thing.

And you're utopia? It'd be a complete failure. It's a bizarre, 1984-esque, oppressive regime which would devolve into, well, Soviet Russia.

ha ha no

Huh?

Guess

I thought you hated contemporary animation.

Huh?

What?

lol

Of course I don't agree with you. You're a hypocritical little anime weeaboo freak.

See above.

Penis/Penis/Penis

I disagree so much that I can't express my degree of disagreement

You are the reason other countries call Americans stupid

4chon

Tentacle **** Assassins 5. No but seriously, Ghost in the Shell.

M...mine?

I... er... what...

The... one that is the stereotype of me?

I penis your ideas. Although I do it wearing a super cool undershirt I'm the sycophant

Yeah, seriously, I'm pretty sure you're insane. Makes for good reading though. Always interesting to read the works of crazy people. Makes you appreciate the structure of the human mind. For example, your perception of reality appears to distorted I almost couldn't tell if you were super angsty or just joking. But now, as I mentioned, I'm fairly certain (to about 85%) that you're simply insane.

Totally agree, babe. We should like, meet up and get stoned some time.

Imagine there's no countries (COUNTRIES are for people who can't live without BORDERS), it's easy if you try....

No Hell below us, above us only sky...(SKY is for people who think the ground is too GOOD FOR THEM)
Imagine all the people....watching anime....

You may say I'm a dreamer....(DREAMS are for people who can't SLEEP IN REALITY), but I'm the only one (BECAUSE I AM AN INDIVIDUAL NON-CONFORMIST!)

Maybe someday you'll join me (but **** off because I don't need friends)... and the wooooooorld will live as one (YEAH, ME.)

Decaf still exists as far as I know. And newsflash, Ms. Non-conformity, people are different and some of them may actually enjoy coffee. It's a shocker I know, but not everyone conforms to the disliking coffee style.

Also, Hot places are for people who like hot weather? I am shocked! I heard somewhere that icebergs sunk the Titanic, but I decided I'd wait on confirmation from this site since you're covering all of these hard-hitting stories.

a friend linked me to it

How about neither?

I have to say I find you a fascinating person. I'd like to talk to you if possible. I've already added you on MSN as I happened to find your myspace.

gogglesincluded

19/f/fl

a link on another website

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

I disagree with most of your ideas, mostly because they are so black and white.

I would like to talk to you. I am curious to see how these ideas developed and what caused your mind, which seems to have at one time to be open, to have completely closed and sketched out bold, seemingly out there ideas in stone.

AI spider

Haruhi suzamiya, Deathnote

Painfully Cynical Idealistic *******

I disagree with the vast majority of the opinions on this site. I do, however, agree that Humanity is, in general, hypocritical. For instance, YOU. You say technology is for those who can't survive, but you say it through a website. You say that Religion is for those who can't face reality, and then at the bottom, you claim to be an agnostic. I can't help thinking that you either have a very poorly thought out view of, well, everything, or that everything you say on this website is engineered to anger as many people as possible. You claim that you WILL NOT CONFORM, yet you are a great example of STEREOTYPICAL FORMLESS ANGER. I mean, hell, as far as I can tell, you have nothing you actually care about, nothing you could put that anger to use for. I've never met you, and yet you make me angrier than I've been in months.

I've said what I meant to.