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Note on Neil McCarthy's grave, mystery.

Neil McCarthy's NOTE MYSTERY UPDATE

For those of you that haven't seen this.

My friend puts flowers and a note with my contact info on Neil's grave every few months. The flowers and notes have always been removed, though we thought nothing of it at the time.
A few weeks ago my friend found a note lodged against the hedge by the foot of Neil's grave that read:

"STOP DOING THIS.
IT IS NOTING TO DO WITH YOU.
KEEP ON AND THERE WILL BE TROUBLE"

On Thursday August 18th, D put bright yellow flowers and 2 notes in a baggie which he pegged to the grave so that they wouldn't blow away. He returned Sunday the 21st and flowers, notes were all gone again!.

He checked around but the near by graves haven't been visited lately and he didn't see the flowers on anyone elses grave. Also the rubbish bin hadn't been emptied since the last time and it only held a few coke cans, but no yellow flowers or notes.

Who is this sad note author?
Please contact me, if you have loved Neil, you will find only kindness and compassion from me.

Does anyone on this site have any insight?

I could understand family being upset if someone came and took over their loved ones grave BUT, as far as we have been able to discover, Neil was an only child and his parents are both gone. Neil himself has sadly been gone for 31 years now.
And his grave hasn't been tended in decades!
I posted pictures of it on Neils FaceBook page.

If the author of the note is a loving relative, but too frail to tend the grave than please contact me, I will help.

Adara.

Town/City USA

Re: Note on Neil McCarthy's grave, mystery.

Why do you think Neil was an only child? I believe he may have had a younger sibling still living.

Re: Note on Neil McCarthy's grave, mystery.

HI Max,

This is according to transcribed birth, death, wedding records for Sleaford.
Also confirmed in Ancestry.com.
If you know of a sibling please let me know.
There may be a bit of confusion due to there being several Neil McCarthys. 3 of which were / are actors.

Adara

Town/City USA

Re: Note on Neil McCarthy's grave, mystery.

Are you absolutely SURE that is the gravesite? According to FindAGrave.com he was "Cremated, Location of ashes is unknown."

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=143748409

Town/City North Lincolnshire

Re: Note on Neil McCarthy's grave, mystery.

Adara Roze

This is according to transcribed birth, death, wedding records for Sleaford.
Also confirmed in Ancestry.com.

Have you looked at the 1939 Census? Shows FOUR people resident in the McCarthy household in Sleaford. The 4th record is closed so someone still living.

Re: Note on Neil McCarthy's grave, mystery.

of course Adara´s grave is the right one, as the date of death is the one Neil passed away, take a look at the picture here ... and lovely flowers you put on the grave, Adara:

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=143748409

Town/City Regensburg

Country Germany

Re: Note on Neil McCarthy's grave, mystery.

Bernd
of course Adara´s grave is the right one, as the date of death is the one Neil passed away, take a look at the picture here ...


So, of course, you've obviously been in touch with "Mick", the creator of the FindAGrave.com entry, and informed him of his obvious error? In light of the note left maybe he has done that deliberately and has information you may be unaware of?

Town/City North Lincolnshire

Re: Note on Neil McCarthy's grave, mystery.

Hi gentlemen, Max, Keith, Bernd thank you for your information.

Bernd, thank you for your kind words about the flowers.
I am the catalyst, but the credit must go to my friend David.
He sometimes works in Fordigbridge (where Neil is buried) and he did the legwork to track down Neil's actual grave. He has been visiting it frequently and he is the one that places fresh flowers on the grave and tends it (weeding and getting rid of thistles and such).
David said that the inscription is difficult to 'photograph' but still easy enough to transcribe.
Neil's headstone reads:

"In loving memory of Eugene Neil McCarthy
Beloved son of E.C & B.A McCarthy
Passed away 6th Feb 1985
Aged 52 years"

Checking records for Sleaford we found his parents info.

Eugene Charles McCarthy born July 4, 1899 married Beatrice Annie (Corney) McCarthy born ?? 1901 or 1902.
They were married in 1925 and their only child, Neil, was born July 26, 1932. None of the sites we examined show any other child born to them. Neil's mom died 1974 o 1978. 2 records so... Neil passed away Feb 6, 1985 and was survived by his father, who died December 1993. Neil's parents are buried in Sleaford side by side (or at least adjacent plot numbers )

Re: 1939 census records:(FindMyPast.co.uk)
McCarthy household lists Eugene, Beatrice and one other. (That would be Neil)
There may be some confusion in who is or isn't listed, because there was a note that said some records may be closed. When I looked up what that meant, it described the '100 years' rule. Apparently census records are closed for a 100 years from birth date, therefore, Neil's name isn't listed and will not be till 2032 when that record becomes open. SO, unless you are a subscriber, the listing previews the search name and the locked record (until you pay to view it) and the note about 'closed records' That may be why some may think there were 4 people listed in the household.

Re: Find A Grave site.
I have been trying to get the admins correct the information about Neil's resting place. It just may take time for them to update. I thought it a good suggestion to contact Mick the creator of Neil's page there. I have previously emailed him, but I haven't received any response. I just left him a 'public message' on his *********** page regarding Neil's resting place.

I apologize for the 'long-windedness' of this post.

Adara, always in loving memory of Neil.

Town/City USA

Re: Note on Neil McCarthy's grave, mystery.

Adara,

Re: 1939 Census.

I am a subscriber to FindMyPast and I've had a look. The previous post is correct, there are FOUR members of that household in 1939.

If you are not a subscriber to FindMyPast it will only show you the transcription for two people, plus the number of other members.

Records are transcribed for anyone who had died before 1991, irrespective of the '100 years' rule. Neil's record is therefore visible, if you search for him specifically you will find him.

Records that are closed under the rule don't appear in the transcription at all, you can only see they exist if you subscribe and look at the image.

The census image lists in schedule 256:
Eugene C (dentist), Beatrice A (unpaid), Eugene Neil ("at school"). The following record is blanked out as "closed". The record after that is the next numerical schedule (257), therefore the closed record is a 4th member of the McCarthy household.

Of course it needn't be another child; it could, for instance, be a domestic servant or a lodger. If it is a sibling to Neil than she or he must be younger. They must also have been still living in 1991.

Adara, I take it from your previous posts that you are visually impaired. Unfortunately the only way you could know a closed record even exists is by viewing the census images. This might be an issue worth raising with FindMyPast.

If you need any further information please say.

~iw

Re: Note on Neil McCarthy's grave, mystery.

Hi Ian,
Thank you so much, that is helpful to know.
I am not a subscriber to that site, so for me, it only shows what I listed.
My notion would be, that perhaps the 4th person was a servant.
Would I be correct in assuming that a home of a dentist may have such staff?

Is there any way to find out who that person is ?

I don't know if you have seen any of my other posts here and on Neil's FB page regarding a note that was left on Neil's grave and clearly meant for myself and my friend David. That is why we are curious as to who and why are we offending, by David leaving flowers and tiding up the grave a bit.

Believe it or not, but we can't find ANYONE out there, that knew Neil and or is willing to talk about him.
There is another bit of small drama going on on another page which I frequent "Find a Grave'. someone had left wonderful heartfelt tribute notes on Neil's page there and they were yanked! I don't know why, but I do suspect they were all left by the same person under various names. .

Oh, update on the note on Neil's grave, at least this time someone took the note but left the flowers... the beautiful yellow bunch was still there for Neil.

Thank you
Adara.

Town/City USA